Inspired.: 2015 Review - God's Providence

Dang, it's almost 10 days into the new year and I still have not collected my thoughts to reflect on my 2015!!! This year has been a good one; lots of weddings for friends + family, celebrations of big milestone events, LOTS of traveling, did a short-term missions trip with my church, career growth, and probably the most exciting highlight... I'm engaged!

How does one measure what makes a year good or bad? Lots of personal achievement? Overcoming challenges and finding personal growth? Or how about lots of good moments and zero or minimal bad things? Among all of the joyful occasions in 2015, there were also a few difficult moments as well. Moments that made me feel very small, helpless, feeling stuck in situations that I could not control. However, through these hard times, along with the good/light-hearted/joyful things this year, God revealed his (continual) providence over all of these aspects and spheres of my life and I am convinced that this is a repeated theme for this season of my life.

In July, Steven and I, along with five other members from our church went on a short-term missions trip to Over-the-Rhine (OTR for short) in Cincinnati, Ohio. OTR is one of the poorest and oldest historic urban neighborhoods in the mid-west. The run-down buildings, some in use, some boarded up, are are now actually being preserved as historic landmarks. It's a beautiful city, despite the poverty. I say that because I can see how rich in history OTR. We were surprised to discover how open and casual the people are. You could easily approach anyone and it was normal to start talking about anything, even religiously taboo topics like believing in Jesus and heaven/hell. This trip is where I started to see God's providence come to life. To explain this, I'm going to have to tell a short story from our trip: The church building our sister church, Living Water, is located in was in it's final stages of rebuilding. It was an old church building that needed to be rebuilt from the inside out. I had no idea that when we met there the first night, that the staff had JUST completed the sanctuary only a few days before, other parts were still under construction. We watched a slideshow that showed the second floor, the very room that we were all in, had a GIANT hole peering to the first floor, the flooring underneath had been completely ripped out to be rebuilt. What crazy timing. Anyways, one of the clearest examples of God's providence is about the handrail for the stairwell that led up to the main sanctuary. The old church building only had one set for each of the two grand stairways and when it came to final inspections, the city told the pastor that they couldn't be approve the church building, because it needed a handrail on both sides of the stairs. But then, Pastor Johann remembered that he had saved a set of handrails from another church building from 10 years prior. At this point, as the OTR staff is telling us this story, I'm already doubtful in my head, "This is way to easy. No way. This doesn't just happen in real, everyday life." And so when Pastor Johann brings over the handrails, from this other building, that has no relation to the current church building, they find that not only are they the exact same length as the current set of handrails already at the church, but that they are made from the exact same type of wood as the other pair. Unbelievable. God's providence.

I had a discussion with Steven about the difference between talking about God's provisions vs. God's providence in our lives. I had actually never really used the word "providence" before OTR and didn't think too much about what distinguishes the two. Steven pointed out that God's provisions focus on the actual physical things, while God's providence focuses on the act of God providing things for us. For example, Steven's condo he bought earlier last year. Being grateful for God's provisions would be to be grateful for the condo itself, rather than the act of God providing it for us, His providence. Subtle change in word, but a huge and humbling shift in heart posture. Dang.

This year both Ann and Aileen graduated on the same day at UCLA (MS degree and BS degree). What was supposed to be a joyful celebration quickly fell apart moments before Ann's ceremony began. My sister had forgotten our admission tickets so my dad and her had to leave Aileen's ceremony early to drive 50+ minutes back home to get them. The good news was that they were able to drive back, get the tickets, and come back in time for Ann's ceremony. The bad news was that as my dad was rushing down the stairs to us inside the stadium (we were able to get in without the tickets afterall - womp womp), with both hands full of stuff from the car, he tripped and fell face first and slid down the hard concrete stairs. Seconds before all of this happened, my dad and I made eye contact and I turned to tell Steven that my dad was the real MVP. When I turned back I saw everyone gasp and crowd around each other. To my horror, I realized that my dad had fallen. I looked at Aileen and tears were pouring down her face. We ran to my dad and there was blood on the ground and I realized how much more worse everything was. My dad fractured his nose and paramedics came to check up on him. Although they urged my dad to go to the hospital to get a closer look, my parents wanted to sit through Ann's ceremony first. Looking back now, I am thankful that he wasn't knocked out unconscious. His glasses were totally scratched, from sliding down the stairs, but they also protected his face from the fall. I am so so so grateful that God protected my dad. It could have been a lot worse. But because of his providence and protection, my dad was okay. Recovery took a few weeks. The days afterwards was painful for me to see my dad in pain. My mom felt so bad. Our whole family felt bad. My dad's face was so swollen, but he hardly complained and seemed back to normal in no time. God is amazing.

And so, this reflection of 2015 is only a snippet of all that has happened. God continues to remind me of his providence in everything, especially as Steven and I are in the process of planning our wedding :) All glory to Him!! I also am beginning to realize that I remember a lot of things. Like a lot. It's actually tough trying to start blogging again because there are so many things I'd like to write about and it takes so much time!! (But I'm going to try anyways for 2016). Anyways, since I love photos so much, I decided to pick a few from each month to highlight all of the good things. (June and December get two because there were too many good photos + memories to choose from!) I leave you with these:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

- Romans 8:28

JANUARY

started off the year with Alan & Amanda, Portland with Mama Yuan, Montreal, visiting Becky @ Berkeley, Spring recruiting stufffss

FEBRUARY

found this selfie of me & S :), Becky's birthday, valentines, team dinner hangouts, hackathon

MARCH

logo goes to Thailand, Lonny/Krista's wedding, Crystal/Matt's wedding, kbbq for brreakfast w/ Ann

APRIL

elite event with GLEE!, de Young museum, Jing's bridal shower + bach + wedding, seeing the bestie!

MAY

Noah's super pinterest worthy 1st birthday, Jane's bach, Steven buys a house, RCC women's retreat, meeting Pigu!

JUNE

june part 1 - mah birfday, engagement shenanigans

june part 2 - sister graduations and disneyland!!!!

JULY

OTR!! (that's my Little holding the picture frame), team lunch in da park, team offsite shucking oysters, Yuan parents meet Jiras parents for the first time!!

AUGUST